New apartment, New town, New state

Here we are!

Internet is back on, I can give the updates now.

As my title states, we have crossed state lines into unknown territory and are now in a “townhouse;” or two-floor apartment, in a family friendly neighborhood on the outskirts of a relatively large city. It is no NYC or Syracuse even, but its bigger then the place we were just at. Close to three schools (although the school statistics for this entire state are mighty disheartening… active large online community for home school kids though…) within a stone throw of two playgrounds and even though it’s a complex… sorry community… there are a lot of families around us and by 9 pm all has been quiet on the home front. And a large active online mommy group for stay at home moms. Just what we wanted. The apartment is bigger then our last place by a little, the rent is WAY higher, but it seems to be a secure space so that’s OK. Hubby’s job is GREAT, he did take a $10,000 a year pay cut, BUT it has very affordable family health insurance, lots of opportunities for advancement, and seems like a great family oriented place. They even help him advance in his career by paying for school. Say he wanted to go to culinary school and get a degree so he could get a better job within their facility, they can make that happen. So, we are financially set back temporarily. I feel this place is like setting up some security for our future. We are also near a good zoo, it is a large zoo, BUT I do know a few people there and they do have a wild dog pack (I have dreamed of working with wild dogs, especially after my experience with the wolf pack at my old zoo; kind of personal career goal.) Not ready to go back to work full-time just yet, gotta have this baby first and raise it up a bit. Speaking of…

I am about 34 weeks now. I have only put on about 23 lbs so far. A far cry from the 60 lbs I put on with my first pregnancy, but a much healthier amount. I have also been more stressed out this last trimester and have not had access to a lot of food. So there’s that. Most of the food we did have I gave to our toddler, who has gone through another growth spurt during this transitional time; and if you didn’t know during growth spurts they eat like crazy and are extra fussy and tired. She now fits into 4T already, she is getting SO tall! She is barely two and a half and she’s that tall. Get’s it from her father of course.

The closest birth center is about two hours away, currently awaiting admission, should hear back by Thursday if they have accepted me. Had a few hiccups getting them my records, since I have had to change midwives twice this pregnancy. Obviously not by choice. Moving over 7 hours in 4 months time can do that. Been doing a lot of reading to prepare myself for this birth. I know I am wiser now and I am definitely more keen to how hospitals and doctors treat birthing women. I wanted a home birth this time; but they usually aren’t covered by insurance and we have moved so much it would have been hard to pin one down anyway. I would hate to be looking for a home birth midwife right now, especially since I am sure they are all booked up for my month. I did have a doula at the last place we were at, a dear old friend of mine who is training to become a CNM (certified nurse midwife) I was very sad to leave her. If I did get stuck with a hospital birth she was going to be my knight telling the doctors where they can shove there pitocin and other drugs and monitors and schedules and tubes etc… I will be happy to get into this birth center, it sounds like what I want. Come check me once and awhile to make sure the baby is safe but other than that let me walk around and breath and move and be calm and open. Let me do what my body was made to do and don’t stress me out! Is that so much to ask? In this country, yes. That’s a subject for an entire blog though. This one I am just updating our living situation.

All in all I have high hopes for our future here. I doubt we will stay in this exact apartment…townhouse… for more than a year, but it’s a good place to start. This is a good area and could lead to good things for us if we play our cards right. I would like to be closer to the ocean, but in time in time…

The lonely is already settling in, but that happens whenever you move, especially if you move far away. I miss my animals at the zoo, I miss my friends in both spaces we have been in in the past 4 months. I know my daughter is lonely too. She asks about her friends a lot. Now that we have internet I can hook up with a mommy group and get her some interaction with kids her own age! Her and Daddy are enjoying some quality time out of the house and giving me some quiet time for a bit, the first breather I have had in months. It’s not the same as playing with her own age group though. We can’t afford daycare, or I would put her in just for two or three days a week just so she could have some friends too. Gotta get in with the mommy group soon!

Don’t even want to discuss financial woes. We took out a small loan to move down here. Time to start paying that back! I have been thinking of joining Etsy; but so many people sell tutu’s I don’t know if I would even make a profit unless I expanded what I do. Going to try the consignment shops here first, lets see where that goes. A friend of mine who also makes really cool tutu’s said mine were really unique and would sell well. We shall see. Etsy has worked out great for my Aunt, but she is a very talented artist. No way anybody would buy the junk I scribble.

I know a lot of families around the country are having a harder time then we are. Things are bad all over. People keep talking how the recession is getting better. Honestly, for my circle and our life it seems like the recession has just hit. The past few years have been very prosperous. Suddenly all my friends are losing work and a lot of people in the military I know are being discharged for this reason or that reason. Not dishonorably or anything, just no more need for them I guess. I don’t know, I am not military, just know a lot in the service… or who used to be in the service anyway. My civilian friends are all seeming to get hours cut, business closing all over too. maybe the recession just took longer to hit the East Coast?

I will say one thing; we went to a food pantry for the first time ever in my life last week. Let me tell you that was hard. Even when I was homeless living out of my car I still didn’t go. Like I said, our toddler has been in a growth spurt during this transition, and I am pregnant I do need to eat a little bit now and then. So we went to the church and stayed in line for an hour and got 18 lbs of food; plus bread and eggs. It wasn’t as humiliating as I thought honestly. It felt good to have some food in the house again. I felt pretty awful though for us not having enough; even after taking out a loan and everything, to be able to keep enough food in the house. We don’t drink, we don’t do drugs, Hubby is down to less than one pack of smokes a week, we are both willing to work hard and we have just barely been carrying on a good living. It makes me wonder how others around the country are doing. People who do have addictions and issues. Our biggest expense is rent, food is number two on that expense list. I can’t imagine how hard things must be for others. Now that Hubby is going to be getting a steady paycheck again things should smooth out. We wont have enough for savings really like we did before the lay off, but we should be able to afford the necessities again at least. Thank God I saved all of the tot’s old infant stuff! We do need to go buy a new car seat, but I saved a gift card from x-mas to help with that. Frugal me always. Wish Hubby was the same! He spent $40 on food just for lunch today, his “victory” feast he called it. We did need a celebration but geeze home cooked food is supposed to be cheaper than dining out HAHAHA.

Yes, yes, I can hear it. You say stop complaining about money when you’re a stay at home mom! True, I could have this baby, heal and be back to work at any job full-time if I tried. That would add in quite a bit of income… or would it? My career, which I have been in since i was 15 and is VERY emotionally satisfying and I am well-trained to do and great at, unfortunately doesn’t pay well. So, right off the bat, I wouldn’t be able to go back into my field right away. So you say, call centers pay quite nicely. True that. I could do that, or be a waitress, or receptionist or a million other things. Add in the financial cost of daycare for a toddler and a newborn full-time. That’s a huge chunk of change.

Now, the most important part: if I went back to work full-time right after this baby is born, I would be giving over half my salary for people I barely know to raise my children for me. I am NOT going to get into the debate of working mom vs. stay at home mom. That’s not my bag. for OUR family, for what WE feel as a unit; letting a daycare raise our children is unacceptable. FOR US. In our personal beliefs and our family dynamic we feel that children need their parents as the primary caregivers. I have lots of friends who are working moms, that is what works for their family. That is their choice and I do NOT judge them for it. I am not living their lives and who would I be to impose my beliefs. Staying home doesn’t work for everybody, it’s not right for every family. But it is right for our family, and giving that up would cost more than any paycheck I could bring in would. Do I miss my career? Of course. But I have been zoo keeping for years, worked the shelters and animal hospitals before that and have a degree in Zoo Technology/Animal Management. I have not left my career. I am on an extended hiatus to take the best care of the most important people in my life in a manner that I see fit. I am young and there is plenty of time for me to go back to keeping full-time when the kids are old enough. Anyway, I still have my hand in the keeper cookie jar so to speak, so I am never too far away.

All life takes is a little determination and perseverance and you can get whatever you want…. unless what you want is to have a palace on the sun. That is not going to happen. Sorry. Everything else, just takes time. I think I am going to get in some Sim time before Hubby comes back with the tot and really relax awhile. Haven’t had time for Sims in months…

  1. July 26th, 2013
    Trackback from : Inside Pale

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